that thing called BJJ*

*or what happens when a crafter goes (way) out of her comfort zone

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i have always had issues with commitment. the kind that makes me start a project and not finish it. like a painting. or a scrapbook. or a paper craft.

i find this a Gemini trait (well, i have to blame this on something, right?).

so when my jiujitsu coach expects some form of solidarity with the team (that this is a brotherhood is sinking in) or some semblance of regularity and dedication to this martial art, i find my chest tightening a bit, like a momentary choke hold (pun intended).

because i know that if i continue to do this along with all my fears (injury is top of mind) and insecurities (me sucking at it big time) – all of which i have been trying to deal with – i will not be able to make it through the finish line, whatever that may be.

but i enjoy jiujitsu. and although i have yet to find a reason to do this for more than a few months (this is a sport, after all, and a very challenging one at that), i will try to keep at it and give it everything I’ve got (which is not really much for now). because Zumba is not an option (just so we’re clear).

i am keeping my legs in closed guard position, er, i mean crossed.

(a little voice in my head is telling me that perhaps i should spend my time catching up on PL projects instead of rolling. ignoring this in the mean time.)

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