500 days of jiujitsu*

Andre Galvao, co-founder of our team, will be in Manila next month.

while discussing this with someone i closely train with, he tells me that i shouldn’t go since i don’t know much about jiujitsu anyway so i would only be wasting money if i attend this seminar.

(let me give you a few seconds for those words to sink in. it’s the closest translation i can think of. trust me when i say it sounds harsher in my language.)

because i cannot beat this guy on the mats yet, my first instinct was to burn one of his gis.

instead (or as rational thought started to kick in), i wrote this:

dear BJJ,

it’s not you. it’s me.

it’s not that you still don’t like me. it’s just that i continue to deal with impatience given my limited skills and face restrictions to my training that i don’t think this can go on (and this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you slowly kill passion).

we both know we can no longer make this work. so rather than force the issue, let me just tap out.

(and yes, i know, we’ve done this before. this time, though, i’m not sure if I’d come back again.)

just so you know, you had been the one,
me

while this was a bad case of foot in mouth (this guy – who I promised to be with for better or for worse – has profusely apologized since), it is enough to demotivate me. my incompetence in this sport has been clear from day one that it need not be rubbed in my face (i can bring myself down if i wanted to on my own after all, effortlessly).

my mind says leave the team, take on another sport (even if my beef is with this guy and not jiujitsu per se) although when i look at my options, i find that i actually have none. there is one other jiujitsu team in my part of the archipelago but it is not exactly legitimate (and this would mean an all out war of sorts with this guy). zumba has never been an option and pole dancing (yes, you read that right) has already been scrapped from my list.

and, really, how do you let go of the one?

so here i am in a bind, still weighing in whether i should stay or move on.

in the meantime, i’ve decided to hide the hubby’s favorite gi instead in a hole. under the ground. #twosentencejujiterohorrorstory

*a special shout out goes to all the jujiteros who have followed me and/or read my posts. thank you for the (virtual) support and for indulging my rants, er, thoughts about my journey. i am disheartened but i think i will be fine.

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